We're studying elements of writing good fiction together. My teens and I want to write stories that make an impact and so we read this example today regarding interior monologue:
Monroe settled into one of the plastic chairs outside the examining room and flipped through a magazine.
Who was he kidding? He knew he couldn't read anything in the state he was in. Still, better to look at the pictures in the ads than to stare at the other patients….
I turned to my young writers. "So do you see how the viewpoint switched from description to Monroe's thoughts?"
"I don't get why he couldn't read." That was Timothy, who was laying on the recliner with a puppy nestled against his neck.
"He couldn't read in the state he was in," I said.
"Well, what state was he in?"
"It's hard to tell. Maybe he's sick or maybe he's injured."
"OH!! I thought it meant a state like Colorado."
Then his sister jumped in. "Yeah, it's illegal to read in some states. Like California. 'No reading for you or you'll want a different system.'"
That was the end of our discussion on interior monologue for the day.