Around the table

My father was a punster and our supper table was frequently punctuated with groaners, puns formed out of our conversations. (This is also a plug for family meals together.) So, I collect puns and here are a few:

• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
• We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.
• The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
• The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
• The dead batteries were given out free of charge

Quit groaning. You know you like 'em!