“Do you know how different you two are?” That was the concern from a mutual friend as Matt and I progressed toward marriage. We did, but in the
fog dreamy mist of engagement, we focused on what we had alike.
We both loved God, went to the same church, had the same ideas on budgets and family. I’m still pondering modern dating services which brag about how they bring similar people together for a potentially long-term romance. Help me with this. It’s important to share hobbies and values but is marriage based on being alike?
Many years ago, I had romantic ideas about going shopping with my new husband meandering hand in hand through the mall comparing colors and styles, chatting about fabrics and combinations. You know where this is going.
He didn’t meander through malls. Shopping was more like competition with him, clicking a stopwatch to see just how fast he could grab something off a shelf. He conquered shopping lists.
Unless we were shopping Home Depot. Then meandering hand in hand was OK. But how many styles of drills are there, anyway?
Then there’s the way we make decisions. He hasn’t met a detail that doesn’t deserve his attention. To me, a detail has value only if it fits the goal. Before we leave on vacation, he thinks through every scenario and packs accordingly. Me, I think the probability is slim that the motorhome’s alternator will fail.
Guess who looks good when the alternator goes out?
He’s bailed me out of many messes because of his preparedness. I’ve re-focused his planning when he’s mired in details.
We’re not alike.
But my life is full, richer, safer, better because of his differences. Not in spite of, but because of.
Tomorrow, I’ll tell you why.
Tomorrow: In Our Image