Rights of passage

It was probably the Sunday afternoon polkafest that really got me started. My father was a polka fan (I cannot explain this) and tuned the car radio to polka music on the way to Grandma’s house.

As he rocked his shoulders to the rhythm of accordions, his children in the back seat sent up a howl of protests. I’m surprised he didn’t leave us on the side of the road.

I thought I deserved to listen to my music. Always.

I figured that there ought to be some joys to getting older and one included getting tmy music now and my favorite foods and my movies. The apostle Paul punctured my balloon.

It really came to a head when my son invited me to listen to some of his favorite Christian tunes. I had politely declined many times but now I had Paul’s words ringing in my ears.

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. (Romans 15:1)

“Strong” has to do with maturity and influence. Paul also discusses, in this passage, how many things are morally neutral and need not be points of conflict.

And it came to me in a rush: if I had to listen to Christian rap and metallic rhythms to help my teenagers get through those years of turmoil, that was a small price to pay. If I joined their search for meaning through a style of music that was, well, difficult for me, the price was worth it.

Like Jesus did: For even Christ did not please himself…(Romans 15:3). He, the King of kings, was even washing men’s feet like a simple servant. He suffered, the God of the universe putting on skin and walking the path of a frail man.

Although we tend to glorify youthfulness and ridicule old age in our culture, we do reserve one privilege for the old, the right to be selfish. The “come around” rule (“what goes around comes around”) meant it was finally my turn to get what I wanted.

Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. (Romans 14:20)

Today, it isn’t about food but about length of hair or style of music or favorite celebrity. We who are older sometimes make a stand on our right to what we prefer rather than our responsibility to nurture those who are younger and weaker.

Unfortunately, our churches bear witness to this for many are filled with elders and not many teens. Teens can be selfish and demanding and, well, weak. Paul is clear: it is the strong who submit to nurture the weak, not the other way around.

Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself. (Romans 15:3)