Monday, August 13, 2007

Marriage: the battle


The news was hollow, empty, black and white where we wanted color and song.

“I’ve had enough,” she told her family and walked out the door.

The world looks like carnival mirrors, all distorted and unrecognizable. How could this be?

They are our friends, a couple we have respected for many years. They both have a passion for Jesus and a love for their children.

Their pain haunts me daily. I have no answers, not even a need to analyze my way through to one. I feel their disappointment, the ache in their hearts in this brokenness.

I know another couple thrashing about in the muck of infidelity. Their marriage didn’t fulfill like the lure of other arms. Now they wrestle: can trust be rebuilt?

A young woman has moved in with her boyfriend. There is no desire in her heart to marry, however. She sees the sorrow of marriage as inevitable.

We still value marriage in our culture. Why else would homosexuals be demanding its right? But we have seen the smashed remains so often that many are afraid of giving it a try.

And yet the thought that there really are no permanent covenants looms like a black hole. As we follow Jesus, we embrace the image of unbroken covenant. But even unbelievers want to think that some things are permanent. They are not willing to toss aside marriage as an archaic custom. It is a bond, a permanency that our hearts crave for.

Please pray for marriages. Pray for your own, for your pastor’s, for your friends. This is a battlefield and we must be warriors. What God extended to us must not be plowed under.

Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Matt 19:6

8 comments:

Darla said...

Amen! For the friends who have thrown the towel in and for the ones who are struggling..I am here to testify to the ressurrection power of our Lord. We have been in this boat, and the only answer is to fall on your face before our Holy God, cry out to HIM instead of others, and then choose HIS way above all the alternatives this world offers. I can't explain how it all came back together, I just know it was supernatural..all of it. From the smallest thing like a smile to praying together for healing and for restoration. I would recommend "WHen Godly people do UnGodly things" Beth Moore

It totally opened my eyes to what truly happened and not so much on the betrayal the enemy would have liked me to drown in. God honors marriage, and is very quick to move if our posture and submission is in tact. Love you, you truly bless my heart! Princess to princess

Kate said...

Kathy,

We learned that friends of ours divorced this year and it shook us to the very foundations. It showed us that without consistant nurturing in our marriage...without the intentionality of fighting to stay married...that could be us. A scary thought. We are holding tighter to Jesus and to each other as a result.

The message in your post cannot be repeated enough.

Kate

Tam said...

Our friend and fellow musician on our Music Teams marriage is failing. In their case, they are both unwilling to work at it. They were married 1 year ago this month and have a one month old little girl, Daisy. It's sad, frustrating, maddening...it's their pride and stubborness and unwillingness to look beyond themselves.

So we are praying for them. My husband and I have wanted to counsel them before - we will be married 16 years this coming weekend!

Marriage is a novelty anymore - it breaks my heart!

Kathy said...

Thank you for such wise and sensitive comments. No covenant is easy but they are worth the effort. Thanks for your commitment and your prayers. You honor the King!

One Busy Mom said...

Nice blog. I'm linking you.

brandichambless.blogspot.com

Millie said...

It's so hard to understand, this flesh of ours. We trust Christ to provide for our eternal destiny, yet we won't trust him to fulfill our earthly needs. Your post today is so true...sin just hurts. I'm in prayer tonight.

Maxine said...

It's tough these days alright. I have a long list of sad stories and you've covered about everything. Thanks so much for your call to prayer. Your posts on marriage are really good, Kathy.

Susan said...

I have been there, struggled and by Grace, our marriage was restored, long before our children arrived. The "D" word is not allowed to be used in our home, by mutual agreement. It can never be an option or it will quickly become a fact. I have to trust in Him and I have to continually lift my marriage up to Him. Although, why does it seem like I have to make all the changes??? lol.